i_am_zan | Reading

Hacked my way through Cabell's Figures of Earth and wondered why I did. Yes he's of his time and yes he's the generic Southern Gentleman but sheesh why does he go on and on about howcum wimmen never measure up to the romantic notion men have of them, and howcum all women want to remake their husbands, and I wonder why did generations of people marry when they didn't even like the opposite sex. Yes I know why, but. Like Blackwood's mother who at bloody eighteen married a widower with five kids, and whose mother-in-law made her life a misery because she didn't think her good enough for her son. Like, who else would marry a blubbery seal hunter with five kids, huh?

Anyway, finished two Dr. Priestleys as well. Am currently reading Lost Souls Meet Under a Full Moon, which I think I'd rather read in Japanese if my library had it in same. The translation is OK, it's just... very Japanese. Am taking my time with it to fight the instinct that says 'five other people are waiting for this copy I must finish it ASAP.' No I needn't. I have it for three weeks and I can take all of them.

Because next is Strange Houses which is even more Japanese and has even more people waiting for me to finish it.

tropicsbear

Right when I thought things were settling down and I could get back into my routine, my body decides it's a great time to get sick. Started with a dry/itchy throat around Sunday night, eventually built up to feeling feverish and lethargic yesterday, along with a sporadic cough and the sniffles. Took a sick leave yesterday afternoon and today. I think I can go back to work tomorrow, but I'm going to be working from home to be safe.

Getting sick this time is weird because I feel shitty enough to not want to go to work but not shitty enough to spend most of my day sleeping and/or whining. I mean, I did spend most of my time sleeping yesterday but I was actively trying not to sleep this afternoon because I woke up with the type of headache I only get when I oversleep and I didn't want to experience it again. I even have an appetite! So weird.

Whatever's this is, it looks like it also hit Sister T. She didn't feel as bad as I did, but she decided to take today off to be safe. I think it might be due to the weather changing from cold-as-fuck in January to I'm-being-boiled this March.

flemmings

Yeah well, that art gallery isn't going to view itself, now is it? So I cabbed down to the AGO, which confuses me by having automatic doors for wheelchairs everywhere but on its outer facade. Kind people let me in, but yanno. Somebody wasn't thinking. And I know they used to have a button outside but Ghu knows what they did with it. Anyway, I then discover why not to go in winter ie you must check your coat and it costs $4. But these niggles aside, got in and saw first the David Blackwood exhibit, disquieting etchings from his Newfoundland past, of iceberg calves and baleen whales and sealers wrecked on ice floes and dying of exposure and cold. This was a famous disaster that happened in 1914 when 78 men died after being stranded on the ice for 53 hours in the middle of a blizzard.

https://ago.ca/exhibitions/black-ice-david-blackwood-prints-newfoundland

Maybe because I'm a Capricorn, maybe because I'm a city child, just about the most unheimlich thing I know is the ocean. Mountains are a close second: was fantodded by the Alps at the age of 9 and never grew out of it. But mountains are just earth stood on its head, and they're always in the same place; oceans are water that never stops moving and there literally is no there there. Anyway Nfld is an island and you can't get away from the ocean, but I can never understand why anyone would willingly go out on the sea that surrounds it.

Then got to the Jesse Mockrin exhibit, the one that closes on Sunday. She uses Renaissance techniques to paint pseudo-Renaissance subjects, many inspired by paintings and objects in the AGO's own collection. I like her paintings even if I suspect I'm not supposed to. But colour! She has colours! How could anyone resist?

https://ago.ca/exhibitions/jesse-mockrin-echo

The other trouble with going in winter is that one must wear boots, and boots are not kind to that pesky neuroma on the sole of my foot. So though there are other things I should have seen, I figured two hours was enough and headed home. Took the TTC up to Dupont, intending to wait for the bus and finish by shopping at Loblaws. But oh lookie, here's a Shoppers, let's get some garbage tags. Which they no longer sell. Online or at Canadian Tired only, and how lucky I didn't make a special trip to find this out. Then I look at Dupont which is one lane as far as the eye can see, because condos, and after that sewers, so hell, will not kill me to walk two subway stops. Except that it nearly did. But I have more cushioning pads for my feet, and if it gets as warm as they say it will, maybe I can be in shoes later on this week. Phone says this was all only good for 6000 steps, but will take it.

flemmings

I do not see me getting up at 6 ayem to see the Blood Moon. It will have to bleed without me.

Another library book of long holding came in so I went out in sun and not-that-cold to get it. Then had indifferent grilled chicken at Pour Boy where I ate in lonely splendour. Odd. Their fried chicken sandwich is excellent, their chicken satay is excellent, but their grilled chicken is tendony and fat, like KFC in Japan.

I've been wanting an acrylic floor polish for the laminate kitchen tiles but no supermarket has it. Lotsa stuff for wood floors which tells you just how yuppie this 'hood has become. When I finally remember to google it, transpires that hardware stores sell it. And since I'm out on Bloor anyway, might as well trot over to Wieners and get my steps in. Noting along the way the many businesses that have closed: not just the vape stores and cannabis outlets, but two or three of the longtime Korean places. That odd health store with its cures for bladder problems (in men), one of the accessory hats'n'jewelry places that also changed watch batteries, another stationery store I think, Tom and Sara with its anime plushies... Anyone would think we were in a recession.

Got my floor polish and then walked the half block to Brunswick to see what had replaced By the Way. Answer is, nothing yet, though at least the sign is up for a French brasserie thingy. Presumably waiting for spring to open, which may also be the reason the high scale Japanese steak house in the old Second Cup and Presse Libre site is still at the Coming Soon! stage. That one has been in the works for close to a year IIRC and I have ceased to hold my breath.

And some day will get down the street for my quarterly blood draw, but who wants to get out of bed early these days? Only it will rain later this week and then it will be achiness rather than laziness that deters me. Not to mention grunge on the wheels, which was bad enough today with melt and rock salt applying a cm coating.

flemmings

Once again world events interfere with my attempts to stop drinking.

But I vacuumed and dusted the side bedroom yesterday, which made me sweat mightily and left me unaccountably stiff this morning. But then I screwed my courage to the sticking place and removed the drawers from under the futon frame so I could sweep out the dust elephants of ages. I doubt I've done this since 2020, if then. Ideally I'd push the whole frame out to get at the underparts, but doubt I have the strength for that now. Even manhandling the large heavy drawers back in place was a challenge. As for flipping the futon itself, hahaha no.

And I feel so much better looking at the clean bedroom. Cleaning always works to cheer me, and it always annoys me that it works, but shou ga nai.

Would have gone out to buy those things I forgot to get on Friday through not remembering to bring my phone, but it snowed last night, enough to coat the sidewalk. Mind, my stretch was clear because I put down salt yesterday evening against the plunging temperatures, and by day's end so was the rest of the block. But it's -6 with a wind chill of who knows what, so I remain indoors.

Dream last night of coming up my street, or maybe Christie, but there were two walkways-- the public one by the street and a private one, screened by bushes, that belonged to the (nonexistent) housing coop with its low buildings and green lawns that straggled up the street, clearly referencing the RL Bain Coop in TO. And very pleasant until a large dog came up behind me and either started nosing my bum or actually bit it, one or the other.

Enbridge did not email me a bill this month. No idea why not. They've also raised their prices. But this may explain why I didn't pay last month. I'd go back to demanding paper bills but they charge for those too.

naye

March really is coming in like a lion! February was long and cold, but as March drew near the snow turned into fog, and today a wild wind has blown the fog into scattered clouds. It was a wonderful day for my first bike ride since July - the ebike is in good shape, fortunately, it just needed a little wash! I've really missed biking.

One of many things I've missed since my chronic illness flared up and I lost my hold of "normal" during a summer and fall of hospital stays and emergency surgeries... I'm still on part time sick leave, still waiting for another surgery. But then perhaps I can go back to commuting by bike and going for slow runs and making plans for things I can be reasonably sure of actually getting to do!

Writing here - we'll see if that becomes part of that new normal I am dreaming of. For now, a little post. Maybe one with sections?

Fandom Trumps Hate
I am doing something very exciting (and a little scary) for the first time ever, and offering to vid almost anything (within limits) over here for

fandomtrumpshate. Bidding opens soon and I am about equally nervous about nobody bidding on my offer, and about fulfilling the offer! (I am confident in my abilities, but my anxiety does not care.) Feel free to contact me through the details in the post or right here in the comments if you've got any questions about the offer!

Currently Watching
...I was gonna start with a few things I enjoyed in the past few months, but that got overwhelming. And since I'm on part time sick leave under doctor's orders to rest up as much as possible, I've been watching TV on my own - also while embroidering.

Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo is an anime from 2004 that I watched back then. I remembered the fascinating animation style, using patterns and textures instead of flat colors, but I had forgotten how extremely, canonically queer it is. Having a slow rewatch and really enjoying the whole experience.

Mushishi is available for free on YouTube, thanks to Kodansha! IF, of course, you live in an "English Speaking Country". I do not, but I have my ways... It's a slow rewatch, which is really perfect for enjoying it properly. Which I also do through giffing it! I decided to do 10 gifs for each episode. So far I've done the first ten. I'm putting them all in the tag 10xmushishi on my Tumblr. Eventually I think there are going to be episodes I've never seen, which is going to be fun (and not too heartbreaking, I hope).

Chef & My Fridge is what Skuld and I have been watching...basically for a month straight? It started with us both getting really into the second season of Culinary Class Wars, having been really into S1 as well (it was my comfort show when I was hospitalized in December 2024). Then we ran out of that, and Netflix was like "Hey... do you wanna see more of chefs who have been on CCW? We've got a bunch here in this variety show!" So we checked out the variety show and got hooked because it's delightful. Now we're caught up with the almost 60 episodes (each over an hour long) and it'll be fun to have it to look forward to, but it would be even more fun if Netflix could make the 254 episode back catalogue from 2014-2019 available too... (I have my ways but the ways did not have subs for all the episodes, alas.)

I loved Sell Your Haunted House so much that I vidded it after watching it in 2023. Now I'm using it to introduce a friend to Kdrama, and it's worked fantastically well - we watched 4 of the 16 episodes just on Friday night and Saturday before she went back home. It's got so much I love, including great characters, a canonically gen (but easy to ship) M/F friendship, lots of h/c, an intriguing plot, found family, and a great sense of humor.

And we just started a new-to-us show that is not a reality competition or variety show! Knight Flower, which I got curious about after seeing requests for in Festivids letter, and decided we needed to check out after watching marah_sarie's vid for it. I like the concept so far, and love Lee Hanee, so I'm confident it'll be a good watch!

tropicsbear

📽️ The Old Guard 2 felt more like a generic action movie than its predecessor. Don't get me wrong! I love my action movies, generic or not. And the aforementioned action was certainly slicker and more visually appealing than the first movie. But there were too many moments where the plot points or dialogue choices took me out of the moment. This was in a weird spot between, "Not dumb enough for me to enjoy this mindlessly," and "What the hell are they doing?" All that said, I'd still watch a third installment to see Uma Thurman and Charlize Theron fighting to the death 😆

📚 Something about Makoto (the top/alpha) from Omega no Mukotori lit up all my neurons in the best way 👀 I guess I just have a soft spot for dark-haired burly dudes. I also very much enjoyed the fact that Yoshiharu (the bottom/omega) was the much more aggressive character and did most of the pursuing. I will gladly consume A/B/O content, even the non-traditional stuff.

tropicsbear

It seems that dropping off of Dreamwidth is unavoidable when I take a long-ish vacation somewhere because of the disruption to my routine. Yet another reason why I'm not fond of out-of-town trips.

I want to write about what I've been up to lately—because I want to be able to go through my entries in the future and not think, "What was I doing back in 20xx?"—but I also have a list of random things I want to post about while I work on that.

First up, "Llorando se fue" by Los Kjarkas:

Watch on YouTube

When I was younger, it seemed like all the trucks and jeepneys played the same exact snippet of music whenever they were backing up instead of a generic beeping sound. As I got older I realized that it sounded like it came from J. Lo's "On the Floor", which I personally think is highly improbable. I guess you could argue that there are truck and/or jeepney drivers into J. Lo's music but?? I had my doubts.

This year I finally decided to do some internet sleuthing and found out that "On the Floor" sampled "Llorando se fue" and that's where the snippet came from! You can listen to the sampled part here, at around the 12-second mark.

(I don't know why I have an easier time accepting that Filipino truck/jeepney drivers like Bolivian folk music vs. them liking J. Lo's music 😂 I don't have anything against J. Lo.)

Listening to the song on YouTube made me feel oddly nostalgic; I can't remember the last time I heard a truck/jeepney using the song as their replacement backing up sound.

flemmings

Now that the weather is on the turn, sort of more or less because March is seriously not to be trusted, I ventured out past Bathurst yesterday to Sushi on Bloor. Possibly the staff remember me even after two months, or possibly they rush to open the doors for all ancient walker-users, but I choose to believe the former and think it very nice of them. Had salmon teriyaki instead of sushi for the omega-whatevers, even though salmon is always iffy for me. Of course I then had Bailey's and vodka after I came home and suffered heartburn all night, which will learn me. But the salmon skin didn't help, of course.

Glorious sun today and temps above freezing so I hacked my garbage bin out of its snowy bed and replaced it with the recycle. Thus I needn't get out to Shoppers for garbage tags as I'd feared I might have to. I still don't have that much garbage, even though I haven't put it out since the first week in January. My green bin is still firmly stuck in the snow and will doubtless stay that way for a few weeks yet, because I still can't get anywhere near it. Things will melt tomorrow and then flash freeze on Sunday. Must keep the salt handy and possibly buy more, since All That Snow will melt onto the sidewalk--is melting already-- and then flash freeze into a skating rink.

To note in the current game of Recycle Bingo: recycle was picked up yesterday morning, so one must indeed put it out the night before and not bank on a late pickup. Except that the block south of me was still out at 4:30, on the western side, while the east had already been done.

Am wondering about a point of wedding etiquette. Suppose I send my nephew and his fiancée a cheque in lieu of a wedding present. Who do I make the cheque out to? I don't know if they have a joint account, I don't want to send it to just my nephew-- whom I haven't seen in 30 years anyway-- and I don't know if my instinct to send separate but equal cheques to each is permissable. Shall consult the s-i-l, I suppose.

flemmings

I am so over this winter. Was antsy about getting anywhere today with the snow falling all last night, which might have been why I had a nuit blanche and only got to sleep eventually by refusing to do anything but lie in the dark. After which I woke at 9:30 and reluctantly decided to forego sleeping in till noon. However the bobcats came by at some point and the sidewalks were clear when I headed out-- in a snow shower, yes-- at 2:30. But bobcats somehow manage to throw up an amazing number of pebbles, do not ask me how. No wonder I got one caught in the wheel back a bit. Only surprised it hasn't happened more often.

Came home to the wedding invite from nephew and fiancée, fastened with sealing wax and a seal with their initials. This takes me right back to the mid-60s when I used sealing wax that I can smell even yet. Still not sure if I can go to theirwedding: it's out in Oakville, which requires cars, and the reception is at a country club ditto, and there's an hotel they've booked for people who need to stay over. I believe my bro drove me to my younger brother's wedding nearly 40 years ago, but he wasn't married then and I was able-bodied. There's an option on the invite for 'will toast from afar', which I may have to do.

As for reading: at some point finished Jurgen and started on Figures of Earth, and am questioning if I really need to reread these pale-printed volumes. Finished also Christie's The Clocks, and Joan Coggins' The Mystery at Orchard House, which stars not!the Dowager Duchess of Denver in a young incarnation. Fun, but I do not find scatterbrained Lupin (!) as charming as her author does. Read a Dr. Priestley, Dr. Goodwood's Locum, pleasantly twisty, even though I wonder if the murderer would be as adept at an English accent of the appropriate class as he seems to be, given that spoiler spoiler spoiler. Currently on the go have Closed Coffin, a Poirot continuation, which is... not quite what I want right now. Am at a loose end which may get sorted once I stop angsting about the weather.

lebateleur

I didn't finish anything over the past seven days, due to a combination of late days at work, a bunch of after-work obligations, and heroic attempts to complete the crosswords in two collections I own with an eye to sending them to the recycling center once I do.

What I Finished Reading This Week

Nothing.

What I Am Currently Reading

Of Dice and Men – David Ewalt
I've got one chapter to go before I finish.

A Fate Inked in Blood – Danielle Jensen
I read another 50 pages this week.

When the Tides Held the Moon - Vanessa Vida Kelley
This novel's premise is intriguing, but boy does Vida Kelley love their adjectives.

What I’m Reading Next

I acquired no new books this week.

これで以上です。

flemmings

I have physio tomorrow so I figured there was no need to go up to Loblaws today. I could go out to lunch or something in the last day of sun before the snow starts tonight. But my insides took exception to the lentil mush I've been eating, or to something, so no, not going out for sushi any time soon. Might as well get my prescription. And a good thing too, because as it turns out an amazing number of people didn't touch Sunday's snow and it's all glare ice now. Walking over that when it's covered with the 2-4 cm/ 1.5 inches forecast between now and Wednesday afternoon would not be fun. So shall take the Christie route if I go out at all, or just eat the cancellation fee. This winter, dear god, this winter.

But I do feel better for the walk and the sunshine. Had a cold brew coffee-- I can only drink coffee safely if it's cold, health benefits or not-- and watched my fellow golden agers trundle about, and read a Dr Priestley on the phone. Turned out to be a short story, not a novel, chiz chiz, but for a .99 purchase one mustn't complain. Somehow must get to the Art Gallery before next week when the show I want to see closes. But yanno, snow and the Spadina LRT not running till late Friday-- buses laid on but no thanks-- and rush hours. Maybe Saturday when temps soar to a sunny 5C if I can get up early enough.

flemmings

Good heavens. Sun! Blue skies! Brightness! Yeah, I did think the leaden winter would bring me down forever for a bit back there. But of course, with time sense so wonky, it was only a week ago that we last had sun. But that was a pale washy sun and this is glorious gold and blue. Of course it's because a cold front is blowing in. Made it out to Fiesta without much pain: the flurries of last night were indeed flurries even if they coated the sidewalk. But now must go down to the basement to turn taps on against tonight's -14C.

Long range forecast says things will warm up by mid-March. Really can't wait.

Was woken this morning before I wanted to be by a robo phonecall saying Pay your Enercare bill. That's my hot water heater. Bill comes in at month's end, I pay it immediately, what's your problem, Enercare? (I do not like them. Ages back I signed with them for my gas on an equal billing scheme and wondered vaguely why my gas bills were always so high, because I couldn't quite reconcile the total price with usage. Many many years later saw an article comparing prices and found Enbridge was something like 10% cheaper. Thus good-bye Enercare, except for the damned heater.) Tried to go back to sleep and was jerked awake by robo Bell phone call-- or someone purporting to be Bell-- saying technicians would be installing fibre optics in my neighbourhood please book your call now. I already have Bell fibre. Screw that. But by then I was completely awake, so started on my morning routine. Oh, and when I checked my bank account just in case, oops, looks like I didn't pay Enercare last month. OK, fine. Now paid up and another bill will come in Wednesday-ish.

flemmings

Woke up at a reasonable hour, took meds, looked out the study window, saw snow, and decided to go bak to bed. Did, and dreamed of being back at Bedford with sibs and Aunt H trying to work out how we could live there and also sell to the Chuas. There was an official sort of man pressing the point, who was some sort of policeman, but who also at one point was dealing with a chubby baby. And Bedford was definitely Bedford except that parts of it were Bedford as renovated by the Chuas. It was the sort of dream that leaves an all-day hangover: not unpleasant, just mildly disconcerting because, well, we sold the place almost forty years ago and my aunt died in 2000, and there I was at Bedford talking to her this morning.

Eventually got up around noon and breakfasted and all. Then by a judicious but generally unadvised combination of muscle relaxants and vodka, shut my back up enough so I could scrape the snow off the steps and path. And feeling almost like old days, lifted the compacted layer of ice and snow from the pavement in front of my house and SND's, who must be away this weekend, and then a stretch of NND's frontage. We were just at freezing today but tomorrow will see a fast plunge and the slush will turn to ice.

There was a video about making lentil pancakes: boil up a carrot, potato, onion, and red lentils, blend in blender, form into patties, cook in oil. I did the veg first and separate, then added the lentils and cooked till soft. Except that red lentils immediately turn into mush so that, when blended, I wind up with lentil soup. Am clearly missing a step. Maybe I should add the breadcrumbs I do not have, or cook some green lentils to add instead. Or just resign myself to lentil soup.

flemmings

Yes, I know I've been out every other day this week, but it still felt like I'd been indoors for days when I went out in today's grey dank. Got my library book returned so I needn't worry about the weather anymore. The walking was occasional slush and frequent ponds after yesterday's rain and melt, but the sidewalks were 90% clear on the way to the library and Bloor of course was dry. I got berries and avocado from the Palmerston greengrocer so I needn't shop for those for a while, and as well, because the supers' are more expensive.

Part of the temporal confusion may be that the temps flipflop about in their February fashion. Thus last weekend's spring interlude was interrupted by Wednesday's winter snow dump, and we're now back to 5C before returning to the minuses next week. Heigh-ho.

My grocery order came promptly, though the poor guy had to wade through the between-cars snowpile, still healthy after four weeks, to get to me. I now have a sufficiency of soy milk and veggie juice, things which are a pain to carry in the walker over slush. The sidewalks up the street look rather more icy than those down, so am happy to let Instacart do my Loblaws shop for me.

Saturday at the Opera was Puccini's Manon Lescaut, which I was listening to as I waited for my delivery: and turned off in short order because it was somehow getting on my nerves. Unreliable memory says there's a memorable aria at the end but memory is wrong again, because I couldn't prove it by YouTube. However have now got it clear that 'sola, perduta, abbandonata' is Puccini's Manon and 'sola, abbandonata' is Verdi's Violetta, and frankly I can't be having with this compulsive desire to kill one's heroines.

flemmings

Rain all day which is supposed to turn into snow overnight and then continue for the next little while. I am so over this winter. There's a grocery delivery tomorrow which I hope won't be impeded by the weather. Maybe today's 5C and rain has reduced the snow berms somewhat? Obviously I haven't been out to see.

The library book I got last week is in Japanese, yes, but I hadn't registered that it's not merely a kid's book but a young kid's book ie it's all in hiragana ie it's unreadable by me. Yes I subvocalize but it's like reading phonetic English, a chore. Somehow I need to get it back to the library for those three other people who want it and I don't know when, or rather how, that will get accomplished. Am hoping the cold front due on Monday will firm up the snow enough that I can get the walker over it.

However, I would have sworn there were no Agatha Christies I hadn't read, and especially no Poirots, but here I am reading The Clocks for obviously the first time. My thanks to whichever FFLer who mentioned it however long ago: it's been on hold for a while. My one niggle is that I'm reading on the downstairs tablet that has been heartbreaking since I updated it. Won't hold a charge for more than a few hours, when the upstairs tablet had its charges boosted when I updated it, as well as getting me predictive entering. If this tablet continues to be such a bummer I may well gather my courage and return it to factory settings.

flemmings

Terminal hubris yet again took me out to the nearer supermarket, yes on a garbage day, yes after that 10 cm dump. Possibly the Whatever that flattened the sidewalk by me yesterday also did down the block and the snow/ ice piles were from people cleaning off their cars. But possibly the Whatever couldn't touch the ice because people put salt down before the sleet stopped falling which naturally led to an unmoving ice sheet. A common mistake in these parts. But I needed milk onaccounta indulging in daily hot cocoa, and tomorrow will be 5C ie melt, plus rain, which means even more slop, so out I went. Really must get an all-terrain walker, though no guarantee that would handle slush any better.

This is also the reason why, after going to bed last night, I got up and cancelled tomorrow's physio. If the sidewalks are passable I'll see if the spot is still open but I strongly suspect they won't be.

However having prudently put one of the Thermacare disposable heating packs on my grumpy back, I was able to clear the rest of my frontage of the ice layer. Wasn't enough to do NND's but at least it's a start. Only because I did this after coming back from the super I was getting light-headed from all the exertion and needed to rest and do deep breathing from time to time.

A come by chance setting on my tablet which I can no longer find allows you to switch up the wallpaper of one's login. I selected landscapes so now, in the brief interlude before inputting my PIN, I have vistas of forests and meadows and deserts and rivers and mountains. My sadness is that they don't tell you where these places are, and that I only get three seconds to view them before the screen goes black again. But they're a nice little pleasure to offset the annoying FUBARs of this new update.

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i_am_zan

December 2011

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zan's ramblings

ramblings

Reading

Reading Wednesday

My garbage can is a cemetery of used tissues

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A post in March

Media consumption

This is an example of an 'oddly specific local thing' I guess

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What Am I Reading Wednesday - February 25

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December 2011

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